It's not something that comes naturally. Otherwise, pretty much everyone would be doing it at the same level, without any real qualms. So it's obviously a learned trait of most, or maybe just some, of the people in the world. I am fully convinced of that thought, and I use people from all walks of life as evidence. When we're younger, we not only have to learn to listen and communicate with others, but we also have to learn the simple lesson that listening to others is even useful. I want you to think of any toddler, baby, or probably even adolescent you know. How many of them can you recall several times that they heard something that you said, something that you told them to do or something you strongly advised them against, and they did exactly what you warned them against?
Pretty much everyone one of them, right? Every young person has to learn the concept that other's opinions and ideas and thoughts actually matter. It isn't some supernatural occurrence that we all think we know more than we do at some point, and have to be educated to the contrary by our elders, our peers, or just whoever is nearby and is willing to lend their two cents in. And that's fine, that young people think they don't need other people's input into their lives, because they grow up and learn many important lessons throughout their lives. Sadly, not all of them actually do that, which is why there end up being more than a few adults that have never fully evolved out of the mental state of "I must be right and you must be wrong because I'm just smarter than you. No one else could possibly know the things that I think I know right now in my life." There shouldn't be as many people running around out there that are incapable of taking someone else's perspective, and yet many of us deal with them daily. They have small roles in our lives, like when they work near us at the office or they write us tickets and don't care that it sucks. Some of them have bigger roles. We may be electing one of these people president this year.
I'm not going into a serious political rant here, because I kind of did that last entry and would really like to avoid making a habit of that. The point I want to make here is that there is so much that we can learn from other people, just random little tidbits of information that can make a profound impact on us. We likely will even take it for granted when it happens right then and there, but down the road, there are so many little moments that play through us, over and over again. And this can be people's wisdom, their actions, their ideas, he'll even their mistakes. Try to learn from all of it. Eleanor Roosevelt said it best:
- Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.
The best advice I ever got came from a good friend of mine, who we'll call Charlie for this post, and it was a very simple conversation, but it stuck with me from that moment on, and I think about it over and over. And it's a perfect metaphor for the friendship that he and I have had, because he's always been wiser than I am and he's always been able to pinpoint the right thought, the right needle to pick out of a stack of needles that makes sense and is concise and profoundly deep at the same time. This is how the conversation went:
Me: You know what? I think I want to be a writer.
Charlie: Yeah?
Me: Yeah, I think so.
Charlie: So write something, already.
Me: Huh?
Charlie: Yeah, get going. Go write something.
Me: Uh, ok. What should I write about?
Charlie: What the hell are you asking me for? You're the writer.
To be fair, I think he actually wanted me to leave him alone so he could finish studying, but the fact remains, it was pretty direct advice. Or him being an asshole, but again, I'm choosing to take it as advice. And it always stuck with me. I still picture that exact moment, which seemed to barely even register in his mind, as one of the little moments that make me how I am today.
You want to get started doing something? Get moving, get up and start right now. Go read a book about that thing. Go YouTube other people doing that thing that you want to do. Go buy the stuff you need to do it, or try to make your own thing. Go meet other people that do that thing and see how they do it, and learn from them, or join them as their doing that thing. The operate word here is 'go'. I mean, what are you waiting for? Are you waiting for something, like having enough time or money, or waiting until your skill in that thing is good enough that you won't feel embarrassed? Who gives a shit, go do the thing anyway, whatever it is. I mean, anyone can do something that they're already great at. How about you go and start doing something that you are willing to suck at, at least until you really figure out what the hell you're doing?
You want to be a basketball player? Then you should join a league and learn the game, and watch some other games from people who play at a high level. But you know what else? Go out and play games with some guys that will absolutely destroy you, and learn from it. Get faster, stronger, tougher, get a better jump shot, learn the game. Get going. Start playing and start developing yourself as this thing that you want to be.
You want to be a computer programmer? Take some classes and all, but also get the software you need and start making programs. Do it right now. I know they're going to suck at first. They're going to suck for a while. But you'll keep learning from classes and apps on your iPad and from other programmers making fun of your shitty apps when you try to show them off, and all of that will push you to building something better and better.
You want to be a surgeon? Study and get into med school and all that jazz, but also get out there and start performing surgery in your spare time. Get out there and cut some people open. A lot of people need surgery and can't afford it, why do you go out and do some pro bono work like law students do? And sure, the first few people may die horrible deaths by your hands and ignorance, but you gotta learn the human body somehow and this is the most direct way to get acquainted with the type of work you'll be doing.
...I'm not as sure about that last one.
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